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What I learned about friendships in 2021
3 min read
## Some People are very idealistic people: so they tend to expect perfection from themselves and from others. Isn’t this an irony; they might not necessarily think they are perfect but they tend to want perfection from others. Just a little secret (i belong to this category of people). I think it is important to have an idealistic version of yourself, but also learn to work within the situation you are in. These sort of people tend to wait for the right moment, they like to be really certain, before they take actions, but the truth is you probably wouldn’t be certain; so do not waste time and take actions! Things don’t have to be perfect before you take action. They are quick to detect flaws in themselves and others as well. My advice for these people is to learn to work with things even when they aren’t perfect. Don’t just move on matters too quickly because it hasn’t achieved perfection. It will never in this world as a muslim, learn to work with imperfection.
Do not set too high expectations on your friends, especially ones you can’t commit to: some people tend to have extremely high expectations of their friends and they tend not to be able to deal with what they expect from others. It can be really uncomfortable being around these people sometimes. As they tend to think the world revolves around them and always sort of looking for people whom they can always benefit from. Personally to me I think that’s wrong. I myself might have done this before but anyways : I now realize this is something we shouldn’t do in a relationship. I learned that it’s important to have mutual expectations from each other to prevent the other side feeling uncomfortable, feeling like they aren’t good enough.
## It is important to know who you are and the people you deal with so you can effectively communicate with each other. I noticed that some people are just naturally driven, ambitious which is admirable and they tend to have really high standards for themselves and the people around them but the problem comes when they expect their friend to be naturally goal driven, proactive like they are and somehow make you feel uncomfortable when you aren’t goal driven like them. (What I learned from this is that people have a natural tendency to act in a way (some of these tendencies are good and some are bad; it is important to know about these tendencies in order to effectively be in a relationship with people. Essentially what I mean is that we shouldn’t try to judge others by our standards; let’s recognize their strengths and appreciate it in them and link it to the creator to prevent unnecessary pride. If you are someone who is pro-active try to help your friend out rather than just looking down on them because they aren’t like you.
Another thing I have learned is that some people love praise. They love to boast about their achievements and love to overpraise people as well. While many people probably like overpraising, I honestly find this very uncomfortable. It’s important to praise but I think it should be done in moderation.
Some people have a very soft and social nature, they are very kind people. The misconception about these people is that people tend to misunderstand their kindness for something else. For example, this sort of person might just really be nice and kind and they probably don’t consider you a friend and the problem comes when you think this person is so kind, they are my friend but they don’t tend to put in the same effort as you do in a relationship. Therefore you get mad at them for them abandoning you. Another thing to note is that they tend to get bored easily lol, so they move on pretty fast.
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